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| Sweet Pea, 31 weeks Exactly, 4 lbs 2 oz. |
Earlier today in one of my mama's groups I was linked a rather awesome article called 7 Things I'll Do Differently with Baby Number Two. And it got me thinking about what I'd do different and what I'd do the same, because lets face it, even the worst of us mothers have a few attributes that are awesome, recognizing those is a key part in keeping sane! Here are some of the things I've come up with.
Things I will continue to do as a Mother:
1. Inspire a love of learning and reading. This has been goal number one with my first daughter. She is 4 and already we're reading novels with her at bedtime. She questions everything, and her favorite part of the week is science projects or maybe art projects.
2. Talk to my children like I'd talk to people. So often I see people talking to children like they are dumb or know nothing, its the same when some people talk to older people, feeble does not mean brain dead. Nor does not fully understanding mean that we should talk about them as though they're not there. This is the greatest way to teach children and to help them boost their self esteem (or hinder it if they hear you talking your friends about their short comings). It also inspires them to ask questions. Even a baby who cannot speak yet is picking up on your speech patterns with him or her, not to mention body language, facial expressions, and inflections.
3. Cuddle. Healthy touch is vital to a baby's growth, tickling, cuddling, hugs, kisses, teach children what's ok and what's not, also while showing affection in great ways. This includes cuddling and healthy touch with their father. I want my girls to see what real love should be like.
4. Share my passions and talents. When my daughter was three we started sewing together. True it was with a yarn needle and on felt, but its something she still sees me doing and knows I enjoy doing. Showing her my passions and talents and helping her find her own are major points I want to encourage with baby Sweet Pea.
5. Encourage them to try new things. Be it food or a ride at the fair, I want to instill in my girls a curiosity in the world around them. I have never been good at trying new things, I much prefer the comforts of the familiar, which is why this is probably so high on my list. There have been a few times when She-she has requested to try a vegetable that I've never had, or asked for something I've never heard of, together we expand our worlds, and try these new things out.
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| She-she, a few days old, 2009 |
6. Keep loving in all facets. When She-she was born I was floored by how much love my heart could hold for her. Now that her little sister is coming, she's a bit wary that I'll love the new baby more than her, we have discussed how mama's heart will grow more space for the new baby, not take away any space from her. I hope that I can continue to show her that love.
Things I will do better as a second time Mother:
1. I will let go of stress and fear. This is so hard for me, heck I'm on anti-anxiety meds because of stress. But if there's one thing being on bed-rest is teaching me is that I can let go of things and not internalize. Stress and fear are not good for anyone, me, my children, or my husband.
2. I will not compare. This one I know will beat me down. I've already been guilty of it in this pregnancy, expecting my Sweet Pea to put me in the hospital at 31 weeks. I am afraid I'll panic if she's not talking by 12 months, or walking by 14. What if she's not potty trained at 3... Etc. Etc. Letting go of this will make my life better, and is a major goal of mine. This will also apply to comparing my housekeeping skills. I have a mother-in-law and sister-in-law who are expert house keepers. I, sadly, am not. I need to get to a place where I am pleased with what I can do and let the rest go.
3. I will keep patience. Anyone who has a child knows that no matter how much patience you had in the beginning you need more! I hope to be a strong example of patience this round. Some days are better than others with She-she, and I know that having Sweet Pea here will just continue to help me learn it.
4. I will accept what I cannot change and change what I cannot accept. Right now my husband and I are discussing whether or not to move to Idaho to be closer to my family. I am working hard on accepting that this may or may not happen as it is not really in my hands. I will also work hard on changing our eating patterns to ensure we're getting enough protein and working toward healthier lifestyles, especially getting my husband's sugar levels under control.
5. I will be more proactive. When I was young my dad would have family meetings about being proactive. I always tried to listen and put these things into effect, but now as I have become a woman, a wife, and a stay at home mom, I am becoming very aware that I often will set things aside until its crunch time, which adds stress and burdens my household, and particularly my husband. With this baby I am hoping to keep up with my house, and plan further ahead with laundry, dinner, and outings. I love planning, so I want to make my life more of a plan.
