Staying Home - can it be in our future?

Pregnancy is always a miracle, my little She-she was born 5 weeks premature, my water broke at 31 weeks and I was in the hospital for 4 weeks to keep her in.  Today she is a happy and healthy two year old, filled with laughter, a sweet spirit, and joy.  I remember thinking while I was pregnant with her that life is so amazing, and loving the opportunity to be a stay at home mom.  And now three years later despite the difficulties in finances and sacrifices we have made to allow me to stay home, I wouldn't give up my time with her for anything.  


I understand that the opportunity to be a stay at home mom is not available or the best choice for everyone, but for us its really been our only option.  We have a relationship of trust and friendship, while still offering me the time to establish my role as mom and authority figure.  It also allows me the opportunity to know what she eats, when she sleeps, who she's learning from, what we need to work on, shapes or letters, numbers or colors, etc.

Often moms don't get the choice between staying at home or daycare, their decision is made by their fiscal means, in some cases we must work, but who do we leave our children with when child care costs so much?  The demands and requirements of child care continually grow.  


State and government legislation, licensing, insurance coverage, liabilities (all necessary for the safety of our children) make it harder and harder to find a good daycare with all the safety features that doesn't break the bank.  And working at them pays barely more than minimum wage.


When we found a babysitter/in home daycare for She-she during my temping position she charged $195 a week.  Since I was a temp and worked hourly and had no paid time off, when She-she got a fever teething the rules stated simply that she couldn't go to daycare, I still had to pay full price for the week (standard in the industry).  Three days I was home with a teething baby not getting paid while the daycare was paid to ensure we kept our spot.  I paid her more than I made that week, and averaged only about $50-100 a week for the the entire temping time.  Had that position kept up for me I would have paid her wages for full time (despite the fact that She-she was there only from 9-1) with two weeks of sick leave and a week of paid vacation, which I was not receiving.  The cheapest daycare I found was only twenty dollars cheaper at $175.  None of it is unreasonable at $4.38 an hour, especially considering the licenses, the insurances, etc., but when you make $8 an hour and don't get paid time off yourself its really hard, because who wants to send a sick sweetie to daycare?

The US Census Bureau reported a rise of 22% of stay at home moms between 1994 and 2005.  Checking in at 5.6 million women.  (According to webmd.com link below.)

However the numbers indicated in 2009 that the number of stay at home moms had not risen any more. 

So much of society and the economy relies on two incomes, and often when women do choose to "opt out" of employment it is women who have the intention of going back as soon as their little ones enter school.

The problem comes with the "can we afford daycare" vs. "can we afford not to work"?

Sources: 

http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/hard-choice-for-moms-work-stay-home

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/30/AR2009093005106_2.html?sid=ST2009100100170

Waves of Work: Turning Unmotivated into Motivated

We all reach points in our lives where we are just unmotivated.  Whether its because you feel like you follow behind your kids and hubby all day picking up messes, you're missing your old out of the home job, your overwhelmed by bills and your to do list, or your sick (or just sick and tired!).  But even when our motivation levels are on empty the work still has to be done, the unending glories of motherhood...

Here are a few ways to "get through it" and help push yourself: 

1.) "Waves of Work" ~ This one is particularly effective when you're sick or pregnant, simply go in waves, push yourself hard until you feel like you simply can't do any more, and then sit down and take a breath, play a Facebook game, chat with a friend.  When you feel like you've recovered a bit (or you need to go to the restroom or get up for more water, etc.) get up and push yourself through another wave.  It will take a little extra time but it will get done!

2.) "Fifteen Minute Timer" ~ Literally.  Put yourself in a "cleaning time out."  Set the timer for 15 minutes and test yourself to find out how much you can do!  I've seen this as competitions on mommy boards (and have competed!) and its very effective.  If you have kids add them to it too and have a friendly competition.

3.) "Circles" ~ Break the cleaning into different stages.  Do a circle around your living room and pick up all the toys.  Do another circle and pick up all the laundry.  Do another circle and pick up all the dishes.  Do another circle and...  See how many circles you need to get it done.  I typically take 3-5 circles with my two year old.

4.) "Chore Wars!" ~ A website that helps make cleaning fun.  http://www.chorewars.com/index.php  If you're a gamer its a fun twist on cleaning. 

5.) "Reward" ~ Offer yourself a reward for a clean house, a trip to the mall to window shop, a picnic at a park, a "luxury" dinner, an extra tv show.  Avoid high calories or spending lots of money though! hehe. 

What do you do to help yourself stay motivated and keep your house clean?  

A Steak Dinner for Two for $8

Steak is one of our guilty pleasures, but with tight finances we very rarely indulge in its pleasure.  When my mom started talking about their Texas Roadhouse trip my mouth started watering, but the idea of dropping $40 for the two of us was a luxury that we shouldn't allow for.  So we went to "Wallie-World" and bought two semi-nice steaks for about $5.  We added a baked potato  Then we prepared it and had a picnic in the living room.

This is our "go to" when we want a "fancier" steak, a steak that even my mom, the unofficial spokesperson for Heinz 57, enjoys without any of the steak sauce which means that it cuts out those extra calories.

Mushroom and Garlic Smothered Steak and Squish Potato

I had planned on adding a side salad with it, but we used the last of our Bountiful Basket lettuce yesterday for lettuce wraps.  :(

Quick and Dirty Wedge Salad

1 head of Iceberg lettuce "cored" and quartered (1 per person)
Crumbled Feta Cheese
Pecans
Craisins
Cherry Tomatoes
Dress with a Light Raspberry Vinaigrette

The beauty of the wedge salad is its simplicity, you can alter and adjust it easily and its beautiful and makes for a lovely start to a home made delectable meal.

Grilled Seasoned Squish Potato

Wash Potatoes
While moist lay Potatoes on Foil, sprinkle salt, pepper, and garlic powder liberally.
Wrap up the foil.  Toss on the grill and close the grill.  (The skin will most likely have "burn spots" but those are some of my favorite parts hehe.)
Once finished slice the potato once down the middle, taking the ends of the potato in each hand, "Squish" it together.  It will bloom like the picture above.

Mushroom and Garlic Smothered Steak

2 Steaks (about 6-8 oz)
Montreal Seasoning

1 package of mushrooms (sliced)
1/2 a head of garlic, crushed and lightly chopped

Season both with:
Salt
Pepper
Garlic Powder
Onion Powder

The biggest tip we have for making excellent steaks is time, give it time to rest well, rest it often, and time the cook time.  My husband uses the stopwatch app on his phone, he is so meticulous!

As soon as you are about to prep your steak and potato dinner, pull your steaks out of the fridge and season them well.  We like the seasonings above.

Season Your Steaks

Then set it aside and let it rest while you prepare the potatoes and immediately stick them on the grill.  Your potatoes take between 30-45 minutes depending on altitude, size of potatoes, and the heat of your grill.

Then begin on your mushroom and garlic (or other veggie topping) you can top it with anything from caramelized onions to peppers.  Using the flat of your knife crush the garlic and peel it.

Using a tablespoon of butter in a skillet, add the mushrooms and garlic, I cook mine on medium-low to medium.  Again timing is the key here, let the flavors meld together and the mushrooms sweat.  I usually wait until they are about 3/4 the size they were before I let my hubby have the meat for the grill.  When they hit about half the size they were they're done and I usually turn off the heat and let them sit on the warm pan and stove until the steaks are ready.

By this time the potatoes have usually cooked between 10-15 minutes.  Using a little bit of cooking oil on a paper-towel and long handled grill tool grease the grill well.  Set the meat on a high heat hot grill, and use below for timing.

For a 1 inch thick Steak to be medium/medium rare:

2 minutes a quarter turn one way (from noon to three) on the SAME side, and 2 minutes (this will give a lovely cross-hatch to feed the eye.  Flip the steaks and let them cook 6 minutes on the other side.

Subtract 1 minutes from each quarter turn and 2 minutes from the flip (1, 1, 4) for a half inch thick steak.

Obviously, the longer it cooks the more well it will be.

The Meat - I apologize for the poor lighting on it, it was a nice red center with the slightest bit of juices.

To test the meat for done-ness, give it a gentle squeeze with your tongs, the more resistance the more done it is.  (There is reason everyone teased me as a child for liking hockey pucks, well done steaks get stiff!)

Pull off the grill and let it rest for at least 5 minutes, this will time for the juices to soak into the meat, softening it and providing the exquisite texture you get from fine restaurants.

Serve it and enjoy! :)

Let me know if you like cooking yours as much as we do ours!

204 reasons to lose.

In 2010 I wrote out a list of why I wanted to lose 204 lbs, a reason for every pound I wanted to lose.  


I have kept off some of the weight from my original number, and am down to 158 lbs that I want to lose, to get down to 150.  So I am revising my list, tightening it up and changing some wants to accomplished.  :) Its highly exhilarating and is something that is deeply personal for every person that does it.  


If you have some pounds to lose I recommend it, for those moments when you start get down on yourself or feel like you don't remember why you're walking for hours a week.  


1. I want to learn to treat myself right.  I AM treating myself right. 
2. I want to be a good example with nutrition for my daughter. 
3. I want to be a good example with exercise for my daughter. 
4. I want to be out of the morbidly obese category. 
5. I want to be out of the obese category. 
6. I want to shop in the "average woman" sizes. 
7. I want to wear heals. 
8. I want to be worthy of the man of my dreams. We were married July 25, 2011.

My wedding photo, July 25, 2011.

9. To love myself.   I do LOVE myself.   
10. Prove that I can, even when not pregnant or nursing. 
11. I want to run.  I can run!  I want to run the whole mile.
12. I want to do the mile run/walk in under 12 minutes. 
13. I want to be in the teens in clothes. 
14. I want to share clothes with Ashleigh when she's a teenager (or at least be able to fit into them whether the style will be right.) 
15. I want to ride a horse, under 250 lbs! 
16. I want to not be the biggest Mommy at Ashleigh's mommy - daughter sleep over. 
17. I want to not be the biggest woman in the room. It doesn't happen often yet, but I have not been the biggest a few times, and its felt good. 
18. I want to not get funny looks if I decide to have a second helping at a potluck. 
19. I want to not have people assume that I eat nothing but junk food and cake.
20. I will take a dance class.  Belly dancing was AWESOME!!!
21. I want to be able to assistant coach my daughter's sports game. 
22. I want my daughter to roll her eyes and tell me I'm not dressing "mom-like" enough. (Though I don't want to be actually embarrassing with my sexy clothes.) 
23. I want to wear a piece of lingerie that fits completely perfectly.  I finally found one that fit my whole body - it was still a plus size, but it fit comfortably and looked good. 
24. I want to look SMOKIN' HOT in a piece of lingerie. 
25. I want to catch guys looking at me. 
26. I want to get a "will you go out with me?" (to which I will reply no because I'm married! LOL) It was at my bachelorette party - but it was awesome. 
27. I want to get a guy's (or girl's) phone number. 
28. I want Scott to tell me I'm beautiful, not that I have a beautiful face. :D
29. I want to fit into my size 22 wedding dress without alterations.  I fit and it was BEAUTIFUL.  :) It was snug, but everything was perfect for that day!
30. I would love to under-grow my wedding dresses.   I did not undergrow them, but I did fit in both of them well. 
31. I want Scott to carry me over the threshold. 
32. I want to look as good as Scott's mom dreamed me to be. 
33. I want to look better than I did in that photo of me going to college. 
34. I want to weigh under 265 - the smallest I've been in my adult life. 
36. I want people to ask what I've been doing to lose the weight. I've only gotten it a few times, but it always feels good to have people notice!
37. I want Ashleigh to be proud of her mama. 
38. I want to be a trophy wife - my husband deserves it. 
39. I want to go hiking with my friends and not feel like my heart will explode half way through. 
40. I want to try a new position. YAY!
41. I want to belly dance.  It was super awesome!  My new goal: To belly dance in public, and not just in a class.
42. I want to look good in leather and fishnets for Halloween. 
43. I want to cut my hair and not hide behind it. ("Your one beauty!")  I cut it after the wedding, its strange to not have it as a security blanket, but I love it too.  

My hair cut and color in 2012.

44. I want to know what I look like under 200 lbs. 
45. I want to know that my risk for Diabetes 2 is low.  (It is currently high, my doctor says my numbers are showing that if we don't change I may have it within the year.)  
46. If I get Diabetes I want it to be managed just by eating right and exercising. 
47. I want to look at myself and see the progress I've made. I still have a lot to go, but I can see the progress I have made, I can jog on the treadmill, I can move easier, my pain has reduced. 
48. I want to be able to give birth to another healthy baby. 
49. I don't want to take 3 glucose tests with baby number 2. 
50. I want to see my baby bump early with baby number 2. 
51. I want people to ask me if I'm pregnant with baby number 2. (And not be afraid because I'm so big) 
52. I don't want the nurse to say "You have a funny baby belly." with baby #2. 
53. I want the confidence to walk into a new place and not feel like people look at me. 
54. I want to know that I fit in Healthy in "Fluffy's 5 weight measures." 
55. NO MORE BACK PAIN. 
56. Not worry that the store doesn't have my size. 
57. Look killer in a swim suit. 
58. Wear a bikini. 
59. Wear a Tank Top and not worry about how my arms look. 
60. Not "Jiggle." 
61. Jump on the trampoline with my daughter and not worry that I'm too big. 
62. Sit in a camp chair and not worry about the lb requirement. 
63. Sit on my hubby's lap without him going "uuuuuuuuggggghhhhh." 
64. Not count up 3 bumps for the right bump to put my bra on. 
65. Step on the scale and see a 1 in front of the other digits, and not worry about the 3 being there or being close. 
66. I want to be able to buy an actual designer designed something to wear. 
67. I want to wear skinny jeans. 
68. I want to have sex with the lights on and not worry that he is seeing things jiggle. 
69. I don't want a child to ask if I'm pregnant or fat. 
70. I want to go to a club and not be the biggest woman there. 
71. I want to cross my legs COMFORTABLY. 
72. I want to be able to have people describe me without saying "the fat brunette." 
73. I want to catch eyes on me. 
74. I want someone to comment on my legs. 
75. I want to not be at high risk for bad cholesterol. 
76. I want to not be at high risk for heart disease. 
77. I want to not be at high risk for diabetes. 
78. I want to not wonder if the only reason I'm depressed is because I'm fat like that doctor told me. 
79. I want to learn to walk like a model. 
80. I want to take a strip-tease class and not have the instructor go "DAMN" lol. 
81. I want to sit at my daughter's art table on a little chair and not worry about it breaking. 
82. I want to know if I'll have flappy skin because of all the weight I've lost. 
83. I want to be able to tell my uncle Shawn that I did it without a Gastric Bypass. 
84. I want my underarms to not have fat wrinkles. 
85. I want to not waddle like a duck when I walk. 
86. If Ashleigh gets type one diabetes I want to be able to support her fully in eating correctly and taking care of herself. 
87. I want to be a good example to my brothers and sisters. 
88. I want to be able to wear a fancy dress on a cruise and not look like an old lady. 
89. I want to prove that my body can be slim. 
90. I want to look hot in work out clothes. 
91. I want to know what I look like in a pixie haircut. So cute!
92. I want Scott to look at me because I'm sexy sometimes. I caught him at this the other day, I said "why are you looking at me?" he said, "Because you're hot." :D
93. I want to catch my sweetie checking me out. 
94. I want to feel like Scott can't keep his hands off me. 
95. I want someone to ask if I'm Ashleigh's sister...and mean it. 
96. I don't want to be mistaken for a grandmother. 
97. I want to go to my 20th high school reunion and have people FLOORED at seeing me. 
98.I want to be able to lose while still enjoying the foods I love. I am still learning what portion control is, but I'm better at it than I ever was.  
99. I want to not worry that falling will seriously injur me because of my weight. 
100. ME. 
101. I want to be able to get up off the floor easily. 
102. I want to look at pictures and say "Is that what i look like?" (In a good way!)  
103. I want to pose when someone takes my picture, not hide. 
104. I want to take sexy pictures for my husband, and have him want to see them! 
105. I want to be in front of the camera. 
106. I want to learn to rock climb. 
107. I want to wear a skirt slit up the side and know that it makes my legs look phenominal. 
108. I want to have a reason to tan. I did for the wedding and it was awesome. :) 
109. I want to doll up and look fantastic. 
110. I want to sit on the floor and not feel it for two hours afterwards. My back has been doing a lot better!
111. I want to put my baby in her crib without pain in my back. I can successfully lay down my sleeping two year old in her toddler bed without screaming pain in my back! :D
112. I want to have perky breasts. 
113. I want someone to look at my breasts while I'm speaking to them. 
114. I want to find out that one of my husbands friends finds me attractive. (any of them, none in particular lol.) 
115. I want Scottie to notice someone flirting with me. 
116. I want to be able to stand up and speak in front of people without getting nervous about my weight. 
117. I want to surf. 
118. I want to do 20 push ups. 
119. I want to play LazerStorm with my hunny and not be a handicap on his team. 
120. I want Ashleigh to ask me why I don't try for Mrs. America. 
121. I want to be friends with other mom's at Ashleigh's school. 
122. I don't want to be the biggest of my friends. 
123. I want to have people wonder if my cooking is good. 
124. I want to be a success story. 
125. I want people to marvel at how much I've lost. 
126. I want to be proud of myself. I still have a long ways to go, but I'm proud of where I am and where I'm going again!
127. I want to be a good example to my parents. 
128. I want people to not recognize me when I go back to Idaho. 
129. I want people to look at me and wonder if that is me. 
130. I want my knees to not creak like I'm 80 years old. Creak free! :D
140. I want my ankles to not complain when I walk the grocery store. I can handle the mall now! :D
141. I don't want to get planter-feceitous (its a sore in your heal from being overweight.) 
142. I want Aunt Ilene to go "Ahhhhh Letia you look beautiful!" 
143. I want to play chicken on Scott's shoulders in the pool some day. 
144. I want to learn to swing dance with Scott - and do some of the lifts involved. 
145. I want to be able to go as long as I want during sex and not as long as my knees will allow me. 
146. I want to learn when to say "No Thank You." 
147. I don't want to worry about my zipper not going up on my wedding day. I was a little anxious, but it fit beautifully.
148. I want my arms to show their muscles when I flex. I have never been so proud as to see my bicep muscle showing in the mirror.  
149. I want to make my Biggest Loser Team proud every time. At times I was the only one active, and I felt I contributed well to my teams.  And I will again!
150. I want people to say "Yay! I have Letia on my team!" Not moan like they did when I was 8. 
151. I want to start physical traditions, like a flag football game the day after Thanksgiving. 
152. I want to make eating cake, chocolates, sweets, and junk food a prize not a habit. 
153. I want to volunteer to help load toys for tots or something physical for Christmas. 
154. I want to act in a play as a girl and not an extra! 
155. I want to fit into a normal size bra. 
156. I want to garden and not have my back throb after 5 minutes. My garden is awesome, and has been helping me reach my goals with fresh nutrition. 
157. I want to mow the lawn and not look like I've run a 30 minute marathon. 
158. I want to be able to easily shave my legs. 
159. I don't want to die of obesity. 
160. I want to prove that prick of a doctor wrong. 
161. I want to never have another double chin. Single chin here!
162. I want the pictures at my wedding to be breathtaking. They totally were. 
163. I want to hike up to The Secret Lake. (a 12 mile backpacking trip round trip.) 
164. I want to go rafting. 
165. I want to fit easily in plane seats. 
166. I want to have my Scottie and I both fit in the twin bed at Littleton Hospital when baby number 2 is coming. 
167. I want to earn a Wii and the Wii Fit! (Goal 150 lbs lost.) 
168. I want to know what I look like with a flat tummy. 
169. I want to try ice skating and not worry about looking like a hippo doing it. 
170. I want to join a volleyball league. 
171. I want to take a ballet dancing class with Ashleigh. 
172. I want to know that I'm in the best health I've ever been. 
173. I want to not know what clothes look good on me because I've lost so much weight. 
174. I want to not even be able to belt on my pants because they're too big. 
175. I want to lose it for me. 
176. I want to lose it for Scott. 

I can loose it for them!

178. I want to lose it for my daughter. 
179. I want to lose it for my future children. 
180. I want to lose it for my brother Kevin, and be able to go hiking with him. 
181. I want to lose it for my brother Brandon and let him know its possible to do it. 
182. I want to lose it for my sister Brianna and encourage her to keep it up on her side. 
183. I want to do it for my nieces Bella and Brooklyn, so that Aunt Letia is the fun one that plays tag with them. 
184. I want to do it for my mother and father, so they can have the courage to do it themselves. 
185. I want to do it for my cousins so that I can play with them for a long while yet and not be too tired to play tag or hit the pinata. 
186. I want to make my Rec Center pass worth every penny all 56600 of them. We did, now I want my 24 hour fitness club membership to be worth every penny, all 11000 of them. :) 
187. I want to have my mother in law think that I'm the prettiest girl her son could have got. 
188. I want to have the courage to sit down at another caricature artist's booth and see what he draws me as. 
189. I want to play tag. 
190. I want to play soccer. 
191. I want to play softball. 
192. I want to learn new healthy recipes. I've added several to my recipe box! :)
193. I want to have to buy all new clothes. 
194. I want to dress in a corset at Ren Fest and have Scottie talk about my breasts for the next few days. 
195. I want to get under 200 lbs and never get above it again in my life. 
196. I want to see my daughter graduate highschool. 
197. I want to see my daughter graduate college. 
198. I want to see my daughter fall in love. 
199. I want to see my daughter go to her senior prom. 
200. I want to see my daughter get married. 
201. I want to see my grandchildren. 
202. I want to see my great grandchildren. 
203. I want to have a 60th anniversary with Scott. 
204. I want to live life to its fullest and not be kept back by weight. 


This list has helped remind me for the last 2 years of my goals, it's helped me when I felt restricted by my calories, or my workouts.  

Gardening with a 2 year old

She-she and Mommy using our Pellets right after a spaghetti dinner!

I have a beautiful little two year old girl, She-she.  She is brilliantly smart, stubborn, and happy.  She is also an outdoor kid, she would go outside in the pouring rain if I didn't lock the door!  So the idea of gardening with her was immediately something I wanted to do.  I've got several plants already growing, and she's helped me with most of them.

Our Strawberry patch (still in its infancy!) 

I won't claim to be a champion gardener, but I will say that its a great bit of exercise and an opportunity to teach your kiddos where their food comes from, especially if you have a "nurturer" child, they'll become incredibly excited checking on the "baby" seeds and plants.  She-she even read a book to the newly tucked in babies.

If you have never used pellets for starters I highly recommend them.  We just grabbed a 12 pack from Lowes for around five bucks.

They're the easiest things to use and are great for starting pumpkins, watermellon, cantelope, peas, etc.  They're also great to allow you to start inside in case you have "iffy" spring weather (we've been known to get snow storms in May)

Start off with a 1 3/4 c warm water and slowly fill the pellet trays to swell the pellets.  She-she was hugely excited to watch them expand and drink up water.

She-she Dropping the seeds on the plate. 

She-she poured the seeds onto a plate so we could plant them.  We talked about seeds and how they grew up into plants.  We (her daddy and I) explained they were "baby" plants, which really excited her so we went with it.

Prepping the pellets for seeds (Excuse the dinner mess!) 

Next we "made a bed for baby" by pulling the film back and digging a little hole for the seeds, she kept saying "cute little baby!" through the whole thing.

She-she counting three seeds in each pellet.

We carefully put three seeds in each one with She-she directing the counting.  We let her count, sometimes she would count to three and sometimes she would go to the next pod and count to six.

She-she was so excited about tucking in the babies for their sleep she started reading a book to them!

Our pellets aren't sprouting yet - its only been 24 hours, but I'm excited to show her the growth of the little plants.

The key with gardening with your kids is to have patience.  Earlier this spring she plucked every single one of my tulips...I almost had a complete fit then I realized they were there for our enjoyment and to be pretty for us.  I didn't mind so much because she got so much enjoyment out of them.  When she's a little bigger she will get her own plot of ground and get to choose which vegetable or fruit she'd like there.

Becoming a Healthier Me

I'm sure some of you have noticed the category "A Healthy Me."  Today I'm going to give you a run down on the reason that I have created this category, since I am not really a "Spokesperson for healthy."  My goals in it are to help you and me become a healthier person and provide better and healthier opportunities for our families.

I have been big since I was a child.  I have been called names, bullied, told I'm ugly, and belittled because of my size my whole life.  The smallest I have ever been in my adult life is 265 pounds...and I was close to that in high school, too.  Saying that I have always battled my weight is an understatement, saying I have battled my poor attitude about it is an out and out lie.

Me at my roughly my smallest in 2003-4.

The truth is that I believed all the hurtful words.  I believed I was worthless.  I believed no one could love me until I lost weight.  Even now, despite the fact that I know these statements are untrue, despite the fact that I have a wonderful husband who loves me, believes in me, and helps me, I still have my doubts.  And unfortunately, I likely always will.

I created the "A Healthy Me" category to help encourage myself and others, but not necessarily with weight loss!  With a positive self image.  


It was when I hit my biggest in 2008, guessing close to 370 lbs, and my lover asked me to have a baby with him that I got slapped in the face.  I knew if I had a baby that big that it might kill me, not necessarily in a literal sense, but with the back aches, the gestational diabetes, the pre-eclampsia, etc.

Me at my biggest in 2008. 

I expected the weight to prevent us from getting pregnant for a few months and hit the work out videos and started on a website I found called Sparkpeople in December of that year.  I estimate that I lost about 15 lbs during that time (the scale we had was inaccurate because I was too big for it!) and we got pregnant in February.  When we went in for my first appointment I was at 358 lbs.  I was terrified.  My doctor was phenomenal in his encouragement.  He told me the biggest issue he foresaw was me telling myself I couldn't do it.

I lost 55 lbs during my pregnancy...and not because I was working hard for it, because I was morning sick.  I lost 15 lbs in two weeks alone.  When I delivered a healthy baby girl in October of 2009 (She was premature but more on that later!) I continued losing in healthier ways with the breastfeeding and working out.  But I bottomed out at 277 and couldn't get the dang thing to budge.  When I stopped breast feeding I went back up to 303... and no amount of working out could get it down.  Literally, we did 30 minutes of weight training and 45 to an hour on the treadmill three plus times a week, we swam, we played... I was frozen.  And I got discouraged and stopped.

When I went into the doctor to see if I was pregnant in February of this year (was having what I thought was morning sickness) I weighed 328.  I have lost 8 lbs since then because of the weird morning like symptoms (not pregnant though >.<).  But its helped me get encouraged again.

With the illness and figuring out why I have these strange symptoms I've had blood tests that confirm my suspicion that Diabetes 2 is just around the corner.  With the fear of my mom thinking she was having a heart attack.  With the desire to have another baby... With hundreds of reasons.

My "Before" Pictures

Of Me Now. 

 On Thursday, we invested in a gym membership for the next two months to prove to ourselves that we can do it again.  We have gone once so far and are planning on going tomorrow, and I'm already feeling better about myself.

The truth is I'm really a crumby person for helping other people become healthier.  But I am trying to become healthier myself and I wanted some place to put my efforts and my progress.  I'll continue to use Sparkpeople (and you may add me Cotsandre) and my new phone app MyFitnessPal (add me LostinMotivation).  And I'll do my best to provide you the healthy tips that have been helping me, any recipes I discover are good (and healthier!) and any tips I discover on the way, but mostly this will be for motivational purposes.  For encouragement when you feel like crumb yourself.  When you can't stand the idea of eating another low cal anything, or the idea of an apple over a chocolate wants to make you sick, come here and I'll give you a hug and we'll both cry together.

The Key to Good Mission-Style Breakfast Burritos

In looking over our budget food is where we spend a good deal of our money each month.  Most of our budget goes to utilities, mortgage, gas, or debt (yay school loans...yes that is sarcasm.)  What is left goes to food, and in truth we really don't have money for much.  But being a stay at home mom is its own blessing and I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.

One of the ways my husband and I have discovered saves us some good bucks is to make him breakfast and lunches.  On average if he eats breakfast and lunch out he can spend $5-10 a day, that's $150-300 a month, $250 is our goal for our entire grocery bill (as of yet we haven't quite made it though we've come close twice.)

Neither of us are morning people - when my daughter wakes up at 7 am I usually spend at least an hour of that day in tears, and that means getting up a half hour to an hour early every morning to make breakfasts and lunches really doesn't help my mental state, and Scottie doesn't relish the idea of adding a good deal more time to cook a nice breakfast either.  So what to do?  Freezer breakfasts!

We have done mission style breakfast burritos many times, and every time we do it we love them all the more.  And I'm prepared to share with you our secrets.

The key to good mission style burritos are well-seasoned hash browns...unless of course you don't like or have hash browns, you like fresh breakfast potatoes, or prefer them baked or fried in oil.  I use shredded frozen hash browns (some of the time) pan-fried with a tiny pat of butter (not really enough to even coat the bottom of the pan) and seasoned with Le's Classic Seasonings: salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder (didn't I say last blog I season everything with these?) and a little bit of sage.  Sometimes I'll add a bit of cumin or thyme or rosemary.  I experiment with these and it adds a slight variation, and is fun.  Cook your hash browns and set them aside, and you're on to your next step.

Cook up your hash browns. 

The key to good mission style burritos is good crispy bacon...unless of course you are vegetarian, or are in the mood for sausage, pork, or ham.  I have used it all, today I oven baked my bacon while preparing my other ingredients.  Line a cookie sheet (or something with at least an inch lip to catch the oil) with aluminum foil and lay out your bacon in a flat sheet over the top.  Stick it in the oven and turn your oven on to 425 degrees (don't preheat it!) Set your timer for 24 minutes for crispy bacon, and 20 minutes for chewy bacon.

Pan "bake" bacon.

Be careful when you're removing to not spill the oil, place on a plate with paper-towels and when cool crumble it up.  (If you do sausage make sure to remove any casings!)

Nice Crispy Bacon...Yum!

The key to good mission style burritos is nice sauteed mushrooms...unless of course you like peppers, tomatoes, onions or some other vegetable in your breakfast burritos!  Since these are mostly for my husband and he loves him some mushrooms, I gave them a nice big chop and pan fried them with a smidgen of butter.  Saute up your veggies to soften them up.  Sometimes I add my veggies directly to my eggs and sometimes I sprinkle them on top.

Saute your veggies.

The key to good mission style burritos is cheesy scrambled eggs...unless of course you don't like cheese.  I have done all sorts of things with my eggs, adding veggies, adding cheese, adding chunks of meat.  I always season them with my Le's Classic Seasonings, and sometimes I'll add sage or cumin or Italian seasoning.  (Taste it a few times to make sure you're adding enough!)  Today I used about a quarter lb of swiss and quarter a lb of cheddar cheese.  I mixed half in with my eggs and used half as a "sprinkle."  It is important to get a nice firm set to your eggs because you don't want them to get your tortillas soft.  A good key to getting the right amount of eggs is to double your tortillas and add 1-3 more.  I did 17 eggs and got 8 burritos.

Notice the cheese outside the pan as a sacrifice to the "Good Breakfast Burrito Gods." (My pan was almost too small for 17 eggs! lol.)

The key to good mission style burritos is the medium pork green chili sauce...unless of course you prefer hot or mild, or salsa...verde or regular, or sausage gravy.  Today I didn't have my "standard" pork green chili sauce, I used a simple diced green chili salsa that we enjoy.  If you want to make a quick'n'dirty easy sausage gravy: brown sausage, add a can of cream of mushroom soup, a blurp (less than 1/4 c. but more than a couple T.) of sour cream, and some Le's Classic and sage.  If you're using a green chili sauce you need to make up, follow the directions on the can, if you're just using a salsa you can either add it to your eggs or add it before you fold up the burrito.  I have done both and its good either way.

The key to good mission style burritos is the layering...unless you throw it all in with the eggs, which works too.  Today I did my hash browns, then eggs, then veggies, then cheese, then bacon, then green chili salsa.  I will say this, it is important to draw a single line in the center of the tortilla with it.

Notice the line right in the center?  Make sure to leave at least an inch on the top and bottom and 2 inches on each side. 

Tear off several pieces of aluminum foil (one each) and put a tortilla in the center.  Fill it with your layers right down the center, leaving an inch on top and bottom and 2 inches on each side.  Then fold it.

Fold the Top Down and the Bottom Up. 

Fold over one side.

Then roll it over again so you're at the edge of the foil. Then roll the foil the way you rolled up the tortilla. 

Remember to date your burritos and add a quick label (in case you decide to add a different kind before they're all gone).  And stick them in the freezer.  When you're ready to use them you can either stick them in the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes or you can nuke them (without the foil please!) for 3-5 minutes.  Scott says if he's left the frozen burrito on his desk for most of the day and its defrosted some he can cook it faster.

I did get 8 burritos out of this, but I had one to eat with my 2 year old for breakfast hehe.

The Recipe I used today: (Prices are very rough estimates)

1/8 a bag of shredded hashbrowns ($.50)
17 Eggs ($1.50)
1/2 - 1 lb Cheese (1/2 cheddar 1/2 swiss) ($1.25-2.50)
1 lb Zaycon Bacon ($3)
7 Mushrooms ($.75)
1/4 jar of Medium Green Chili Salsa ($.87)
Seasonings ($.15)
8 Tortillas ($2)

Total Spent: Guessing about $10.  ($10.02 adding my guest-imates there) Which means each Breakfast burrito is roughly $1.25 - $1.40.

Today's Mission-Style Breakfast Burritos

The truth is the real key to good Mission-Style Breakfast Burritos is to make them!  They can be done in a huge variety of ways, and adjusted to whatever you and your family likes, and they'll always be tasty, and they'll almost always be around $1 - $1.50 a burrito.  It took me about 45 minutes from start to finish to knock these out, and I fed my husband breakfast while I did them, and it will feed him breakfast 7 more times.    

Budget Lunches - Pint Jar Meals

So I've seen these meals going around called Pint Jar Meals on Pinterest, I'm intrigued because frankly when you wake up in the morning who wants to bag a lunch of the same peanut butter and jam sandwich, and Hot Pockets - while great - get old and still aren't the cheapest option.

So I decided to test some of the Pint Jar Meals on my hubby this weekend.  While I made dinner tonight I "beefed it up" and knocked out 5 jars (enough to get him through the rest of the week).  In truth it really wasn't much more strenuous then making a good meal, and took almost the same amount of time.  If my husband likes them and they heat well / are as convenient as I hope, I'll attempt to make them every Monday.

I made 3 classics: Shepherd's Pie, Spaghetti, and Enchiladas. Which made 5 jars because we ate the spaghetti for dinner tonight.

I started by browning up 2 pounds of meat (roughly 1 for our dinner and roughly 1 for his lunches).  I used Elk and Hamburger because we like the flavor of Elk but I want to stretch it out.  You can use any sort of ground meat you like (turkey, beef, pork, venison, etc.)

I added some "always" seasonings to my meat: salt, pepper, garlic powder and dried onion flakes or onion powder.  It is rare that I'll do a meal without at least a touch of each of these five, they're our Go-Tos, and add flavor without a lot of added bad stuff.  The salt is the only real one you want to watch out for.

I divvied it up into 3 pans - one for each recipe, my spaghetti pan got the majority because that was dinner tonight.

Then I added my sauce and basic seasonings to each pan.

To my spaghetti pan a 6 oz can of Tomato Paste and a jar of home-canned tomatoes. (Or diced tomatoes from a jar is good, too.)  About a tablespoon of brown sugar, a generous shake or two of Italian seasoning, (oregano, basil, rosemary and thyme) usually a bit more salt and a pepper go in my "basic spaghetti" seasonings.

To my shepherd's pie pan a can of cream of mushroom soup, about 2 T of sour cream (more or less to taste) and a blurp (a little less than 1/4 c.) of milk.  For a bit of added flavor add some Worcestershire and some liquid smoke.  Usually I'll add extra garlic powder and onion powder.  I have been known to throw a dusting of sage, thyme, oregano, rosemary, or cumin, but then I like to spice things up differently most of the time depending on my mood - experiment!  

To my enchilada pan a can of medium enchilada sauce, and about half a packet of taco seasoning.  If it isn't "enough" I'll add a few red pepper flakes (Sparingly its spicy!) and cumin.

Mix each of the pans and let the sauce come together a few minutes.  Taste it and see if it needs anything, tweak as needed.

Add your veggies.  Here is where you can get creative, add what you like.  All three can take mushrooms, diced tomatoes, and onions or green onions.  Shepherd's pie can have green beans, enchilada's can have corn, spaghetti I've heard is great with some diced zucchini.  The point is sneak in some veggies when your family or hubby isn't looking.  Since my whole family likes mushrooms, especially Scottie-who these are for, I did a large slice on them and tossed them in with the enchiladas and shepherd's pie (we ran out before I could put them in the spaghetti!)

Let the veggies break down and your sauces come together stirring often.

Do your starch (if it requires doing!) I boiled a thing of water and did my noodles, then while we were eating I boiled my potatoes.

Mash your potatoes (I did 3 small-medium russets and they topped 2 pint jars perfectly).  I like to add another blurp of milk (remember a little less than 1/4 c.) and dollop of sour cream.  Sometimes I'll go the whole nine yards and dice and saute up a few cloves of garlic to go in it.

Do your finishing work then put your jars together.  Remember the sturdier stuff goes on the bottom, stuff that will get soggy or crushed goes on the top.

Enchilada meat sauce with diced cheese on top and 3 folded tortillas in a ziplock bag.

Spaghetti meat sauce on the bottom noodles on the top.  (I would have preferred to have more meat sauce on the bottom but we ate more than I'd thought during dinner! hehe.)  If I had bread or rolls I would have made garlic bread and stuck it on top in a ziplock.  

Shepherd's Pie - I put a slice of cheese on the top to melt when he heats it. 

So like I said, these are an experiment for us, and I have no way of knowing yet if they worked or not - but I will be sure to give everyone my husband's review of them at the end of the day.  (Including whether or not it warmed quickly or if he spent half his lunch stirring and dumping out on plates.)

Have you ever done Pint Jar Meals?  These seem like a great idea for the working adult, or for a single adult.  I've heard they freeze well too, we have a pint jar in the freezer now with Scott's "famous" chili.  If it works then I'll let you know!  Feel free to let me know what works for you in the comments below!

Bountiful Baskets - Eating Well on a Budget

So I originally posted a blog about Bountiful Baskets shortly after getting our own in December. For those of you who don't know what in the world I'm talking about go to Raising The Ruth's Blog for an easy how to.  And Bountiful Baskets to order. :)

My husband and I were both unemployed, him for 9 months, and me since I became a stay at home mom in summer of '08 until I became an indie author.  It was because of this trying time that I made a goal of feeding our family of 3 for $250 a month... its very trying, it requires a lot of focus, and in truth as close as we've come a few times we've not hit it yet this year!  But one of the best steps we have taken has been with Bountiful Baskets.

A Bountiful Basket is roughly 30 lbs of fresh produce for $16.50 (a little more for your first basket), and they're available through a large portion of the country.  The catch is that you don't know beforehand what fruits and veggies you get.  But the one basket tends to last us for two full weeks, meaning we spend $8.25 on 15 lbs of healthy fruits and veggies a week for three of us.  At least half of what we were paying before.

I have been impressed with their quality, the flavor of their veggies is great, and the variety is fun too, every once in a while we'll get something we don't like (or don't know we like!) but we have discovered we enjoy a few more mellons than we've ever tried, and I even like brussel sprouts!  For those things we don't love we either gift them to my mother-in-law (who is a huge fresh veggie eater) or we trade or toss them (I hate wasting food, but it isn't much)