204 reasons to lose.

In 2010 I wrote out a list of why I wanted to lose 204 lbs, a reason for every pound I wanted to lose.  


I have kept off some of the weight from my original number, and am down to 158 lbs that I want to lose, to get down to 150.  So I am revising my list, tightening it up and changing some wants to accomplished.  :) Its highly exhilarating and is something that is deeply personal for every person that does it.  


If you have some pounds to lose I recommend it, for those moments when you start get down on yourself or feel like you don't remember why you're walking for hours a week.  


1. I want to learn to treat myself right.  I AM treating myself right. 
2. I want to be a good example with nutrition for my daughter. 
3. I want to be a good example with exercise for my daughter. 
4. I want to be out of the morbidly obese category. 
5. I want to be out of the obese category. 
6. I want to shop in the "average woman" sizes. 
7. I want to wear heals. 
8. I want to be worthy of the man of my dreams. We were married July 25, 2011.

My wedding photo, July 25, 2011.

9. To love myself.   I do LOVE myself.   
10. Prove that I can, even when not pregnant or nursing. 
11. I want to run.  I can run!  I want to run the whole mile.
12. I want to do the mile run/walk in under 12 minutes. 
13. I want to be in the teens in clothes. 
14. I want to share clothes with Ashleigh when she's a teenager (or at least be able to fit into them whether the style will be right.) 
15. I want to ride a horse, under 250 lbs! 
16. I want to not be the biggest Mommy at Ashleigh's mommy - daughter sleep over. 
17. I want to not be the biggest woman in the room. It doesn't happen often yet, but I have not been the biggest a few times, and its felt good. 
18. I want to not get funny looks if I decide to have a second helping at a potluck. 
19. I want to not have people assume that I eat nothing but junk food and cake.
20. I will take a dance class.  Belly dancing was AWESOME!!!
21. I want to be able to assistant coach my daughter's sports game. 
22. I want my daughter to roll her eyes and tell me I'm not dressing "mom-like" enough. (Though I don't want to be actually embarrassing with my sexy clothes.) 
23. I want to wear a piece of lingerie that fits completely perfectly.  I finally found one that fit my whole body - it was still a plus size, but it fit comfortably and looked good. 
24. I want to look SMOKIN' HOT in a piece of lingerie. 
25. I want to catch guys looking at me. 
26. I want to get a "will you go out with me?" (to which I will reply no because I'm married! LOL) It was at my bachelorette party - but it was awesome. 
27. I want to get a guy's (or girl's) phone number. 
28. I want Scott to tell me I'm beautiful, not that I have a beautiful face. :D
29. I want to fit into my size 22 wedding dress without alterations.  I fit and it was BEAUTIFUL.  :) It was snug, but everything was perfect for that day!
30. I would love to under-grow my wedding dresses.   I did not undergrow them, but I did fit in both of them well. 
31. I want Scott to carry me over the threshold. 
32. I want to look as good as Scott's mom dreamed me to be. 
33. I want to look better than I did in that photo of me going to college. 
34. I want to weigh under 265 - the smallest I've been in my adult life. 
36. I want people to ask what I've been doing to lose the weight. I've only gotten it a few times, but it always feels good to have people notice!
37. I want Ashleigh to be proud of her mama. 
38. I want to be a trophy wife - my husband deserves it. 
39. I want to go hiking with my friends and not feel like my heart will explode half way through. 
40. I want to try a new position. YAY!
41. I want to belly dance.  It was super awesome!  My new goal: To belly dance in public, and not just in a class.
42. I want to look good in leather and fishnets for Halloween. 
43. I want to cut my hair and not hide behind it. ("Your one beauty!")  I cut it after the wedding, its strange to not have it as a security blanket, but I love it too.  

My hair cut and color in 2012.

44. I want to know what I look like under 200 lbs. 
45. I want to know that my risk for Diabetes 2 is low.  (It is currently high, my doctor says my numbers are showing that if we don't change I may have it within the year.)  
46. If I get Diabetes I want it to be managed just by eating right and exercising. 
47. I want to look at myself and see the progress I've made. I still have a lot to go, but I can see the progress I have made, I can jog on the treadmill, I can move easier, my pain has reduced. 
48. I want to be able to give birth to another healthy baby. 
49. I don't want to take 3 glucose tests with baby number 2. 
50. I want to see my baby bump early with baby number 2. 
51. I want people to ask me if I'm pregnant with baby number 2. (And not be afraid because I'm so big) 
52. I don't want the nurse to say "You have a funny baby belly." with baby #2. 
53. I want the confidence to walk into a new place and not feel like people look at me. 
54. I want to know that I fit in Healthy in "Fluffy's 5 weight measures." 
55. NO MORE BACK PAIN. 
56. Not worry that the store doesn't have my size. 
57. Look killer in a swim suit. 
58. Wear a bikini. 
59. Wear a Tank Top and not worry about how my arms look. 
60. Not "Jiggle." 
61. Jump on the trampoline with my daughter and not worry that I'm too big. 
62. Sit in a camp chair and not worry about the lb requirement. 
63. Sit on my hubby's lap without him going "uuuuuuuuggggghhhhh." 
64. Not count up 3 bumps for the right bump to put my bra on. 
65. Step on the scale and see a 1 in front of the other digits, and not worry about the 3 being there or being close. 
66. I want to be able to buy an actual designer designed something to wear. 
67. I want to wear skinny jeans. 
68. I want to have sex with the lights on and not worry that he is seeing things jiggle. 
69. I don't want a child to ask if I'm pregnant or fat. 
70. I want to go to a club and not be the biggest woman there. 
71. I want to cross my legs COMFORTABLY. 
72. I want to be able to have people describe me without saying "the fat brunette." 
73. I want to catch eyes on me. 
74. I want someone to comment on my legs. 
75. I want to not be at high risk for bad cholesterol. 
76. I want to not be at high risk for heart disease. 
77. I want to not be at high risk for diabetes. 
78. I want to not wonder if the only reason I'm depressed is because I'm fat like that doctor told me. 
79. I want to learn to walk like a model. 
80. I want to take a strip-tease class and not have the instructor go "DAMN" lol. 
81. I want to sit at my daughter's art table on a little chair and not worry about it breaking. 
82. I want to know if I'll have flappy skin because of all the weight I've lost. 
83. I want to be able to tell my uncle Shawn that I did it without a Gastric Bypass. 
84. I want my underarms to not have fat wrinkles. 
85. I want to not waddle like a duck when I walk. 
86. If Ashleigh gets type one diabetes I want to be able to support her fully in eating correctly and taking care of herself. 
87. I want to be a good example to my brothers and sisters. 
88. I want to be able to wear a fancy dress on a cruise and not look like an old lady. 
89. I want to prove that my body can be slim. 
90. I want to look hot in work out clothes. 
91. I want to know what I look like in a pixie haircut. So cute!
92. I want Scott to look at me because I'm sexy sometimes. I caught him at this the other day, I said "why are you looking at me?" he said, "Because you're hot." :D
93. I want to catch my sweetie checking me out. 
94. I want to feel like Scott can't keep his hands off me. 
95. I want someone to ask if I'm Ashleigh's sister...and mean it. 
96. I don't want to be mistaken for a grandmother. 
97. I want to go to my 20th high school reunion and have people FLOORED at seeing me. 
98.I want to be able to lose while still enjoying the foods I love. I am still learning what portion control is, but I'm better at it than I ever was.  
99. I want to not worry that falling will seriously injur me because of my weight. 
100. ME. 
101. I want to be able to get up off the floor easily. 
102. I want to look at pictures and say "Is that what i look like?" (In a good way!)  
103. I want to pose when someone takes my picture, not hide. 
104. I want to take sexy pictures for my husband, and have him want to see them! 
105. I want to be in front of the camera. 
106. I want to learn to rock climb. 
107. I want to wear a skirt slit up the side and know that it makes my legs look phenominal. 
108. I want to have a reason to tan. I did for the wedding and it was awesome. :) 
109. I want to doll up and look fantastic. 
110. I want to sit on the floor and not feel it for two hours afterwards. My back has been doing a lot better!
111. I want to put my baby in her crib without pain in my back. I can successfully lay down my sleeping two year old in her toddler bed without screaming pain in my back! :D
112. I want to have perky breasts. 
113. I want someone to look at my breasts while I'm speaking to them. 
114. I want to find out that one of my husbands friends finds me attractive. (any of them, none in particular lol.) 
115. I want Scottie to notice someone flirting with me. 
116. I want to be able to stand up and speak in front of people without getting nervous about my weight. 
117. I want to surf. 
118. I want to do 20 push ups. 
119. I want to play LazerStorm with my hunny and not be a handicap on his team. 
120. I want Ashleigh to ask me why I don't try for Mrs. America. 
121. I want to be friends with other mom's at Ashleigh's school. 
122. I don't want to be the biggest of my friends. 
123. I want to have people wonder if my cooking is good. 
124. I want to be a success story. 
125. I want people to marvel at how much I've lost. 
126. I want to be proud of myself. I still have a long ways to go, but I'm proud of where I am and where I'm going again!
127. I want to be a good example to my parents. 
128. I want people to not recognize me when I go back to Idaho. 
129. I want people to look at me and wonder if that is me. 
130. I want my knees to not creak like I'm 80 years old. Creak free! :D
140. I want my ankles to not complain when I walk the grocery store. I can handle the mall now! :D
141. I don't want to get planter-feceitous (its a sore in your heal from being overweight.) 
142. I want Aunt Ilene to go "Ahhhhh Letia you look beautiful!" 
143. I want to play chicken on Scott's shoulders in the pool some day. 
144. I want to learn to swing dance with Scott - and do some of the lifts involved. 
145. I want to be able to go as long as I want during sex and not as long as my knees will allow me. 
146. I want to learn when to say "No Thank You." 
147. I don't want to worry about my zipper not going up on my wedding day. I was a little anxious, but it fit beautifully.
148. I want my arms to show their muscles when I flex. I have never been so proud as to see my bicep muscle showing in the mirror.  
149. I want to make my Biggest Loser Team proud every time. At times I was the only one active, and I felt I contributed well to my teams.  And I will again!
150. I want people to say "Yay! I have Letia on my team!" Not moan like they did when I was 8. 
151. I want to start physical traditions, like a flag football game the day after Thanksgiving. 
152. I want to make eating cake, chocolates, sweets, and junk food a prize not a habit. 
153. I want to volunteer to help load toys for tots or something physical for Christmas. 
154. I want to act in a play as a girl and not an extra! 
155. I want to fit into a normal size bra. 
156. I want to garden and not have my back throb after 5 minutes. My garden is awesome, and has been helping me reach my goals with fresh nutrition. 
157. I want to mow the lawn and not look like I've run a 30 minute marathon. 
158. I want to be able to easily shave my legs. 
159. I don't want to die of obesity. 
160. I want to prove that prick of a doctor wrong. 
161. I want to never have another double chin. Single chin here!
162. I want the pictures at my wedding to be breathtaking. They totally were. 
163. I want to hike up to The Secret Lake. (a 12 mile backpacking trip round trip.) 
164. I want to go rafting. 
165. I want to fit easily in plane seats. 
166. I want to have my Scottie and I both fit in the twin bed at Littleton Hospital when baby number 2 is coming. 
167. I want to earn a Wii and the Wii Fit! (Goal 150 lbs lost.) 
168. I want to know what I look like with a flat tummy. 
169. I want to try ice skating and not worry about looking like a hippo doing it. 
170. I want to join a volleyball league. 
171. I want to take a ballet dancing class with Ashleigh. 
172. I want to know that I'm in the best health I've ever been. 
173. I want to not know what clothes look good on me because I've lost so much weight. 
174. I want to not even be able to belt on my pants because they're too big. 
175. I want to lose it for me. 
176. I want to lose it for Scott. 

I can loose it for them!

178. I want to lose it for my daughter. 
179. I want to lose it for my future children. 
180. I want to lose it for my brother Kevin, and be able to go hiking with him. 
181. I want to lose it for my brother Brandon and let him know its possible to do it. 
182. I want to lose it for my sister Brianna and encourage her to keep it up on her side. 
183. I want to do it for my nieces Bella and Brooklyn, so that Aunt Letia is the fun one that plays tag with them. 
184. I want to do it for my mother and father, so they can have the courage to do it themselves. 
185. I want to do it for my cousins so that I can play with them for a long while yet and not be too tired to play tag or hit the pinata. 
186. I want to make my Rec Center pass worth every penny all 56600 of them. We did, now I want my 24 hour fitness club membership to be worth every penny, all 11000 of them. :) 
187. I want to have my mother in law think that I'm the prettiest girl her son could have got. 
188. I want to have the courage to sit down at another caricature artist's booth and see what he draws me as. 
189. I want to play tag. 
190. I want to play soccer. 
191. I want to play softball. 
192. I want to learn new healthy recipes. I've added several to my recipe box! :)
193. I want to have to buy all new clothes. 
194. I want to dress in a corset at Ren Fest and have Scottie talk about my breasts for the next few days. 
195. I want to get under 200 lbs and never get above it again in my life. 
196. I want to see my daughter graduate highschool. 
197. I want to see my daughter graduate college. 
198. I want to see my daughter fall in love. 
199. I want to see my daughter go to her senior prom. 
200. I want to see my daughter get married. 
201. I want to see my grandchildren. 
202. I want to see my great grandchildren. 
203. I want to have a 60th anniversary with Scott. 
204. I want to live life to its fullest and not be kept back by weight. 


This list has helped remind me for the last 2 years of my goals, it's helped me when I felt restricted by my calories, or my workouts.